Has The Tooth Fairy Gone Out of Business Yet?
by pansyprkinson
Summary: <html><head></head>Just a fluffy little story about Sirius and his obsessive hate for the dentist.</html>


A/N: This is just a fluffy one-shot I wrote for my friend after I went to the dentist. Review if you please :) This is Remus/Sirius with a tinge of Lily/James

Has the Tooth Fairy Gone Out of Business, Yet?

"_Sirius…" _James growled, quickly losing patience with the mutt as he jumped over the bed, nearly avoiding the shoe thrown at his head by the latter.

"No. I will not go and _you can't make me!"_  
>James gave a huff, turning to the slightly amused werewolf behind him. "Well? What are you waiting for? Help me!" Remus quirked an indignant eyebrow.<br>"You seem to be doing admirably on your own, Prongs. I don't see what you could need me for." Sirius, not forgotten but merely ignored, tried to quickly sneek out of the 6th year boy's dormitory, only to find that it had been locked and his wand skillfully pocketed by his messy haired friend.  
>"Oi! Don't think that you're getting away. You need to hurry up or-"<br>"I AM NOT GOING" Sirius squeaked with as much dignity as a boy cowering for such a simple task can.  
>"Sirius, you really should go… I mean, it can't be <em>that<em> bad." But the horrified and slightly hurt look on the boys face told Remus it was the wrong thing to say.  
>"Not that bad! Are you nutters? Its torture, it is! Like a Cruciatus curse, but legal! The things they do… you could never imagine… the <em>pain… <em>hands _everywhere_…"  
>James and Remus exchanged bemused looks and slowly approached the muttering boy. Knowing what was about to happen, he jumped onto his bed and propelled himself across the room, landing on another bed. Probably Peters, judging by the clothes scattered about. "NO. I will <em>not go<em>. I promised myself last year that I would not go back. I walked out with my head held high and my dignity intact. You _cannot_ make me do this! You can't be serious!"  
>"No, you're-"James started, but catching the look on his best friends face he quickly stopped. "I- I mean, uhm, y-you have to." James looked like he didn't want to fight, but felt like he was in too deep to back down now. "It's for your own good."<br>Sirius scoffed while Remus assured him everything would be okay. "Come on, Sirius. It won't be that bad! We will be right beside you the whole time. You have _nothing_ to worry about."  
>Sirius gave him a doubtful look, but before he could retort James had tackled him to the floor, tying up and gagging him.<p>

* * *

><p><em>2 hours, a long trip to Hogsmeade, and much struggling later…<em>

"Iy hapht ou."  
>"What was that, love? You really shouldn't speak with that lip and all. You could even choke on your tongue." Remus stifled a laugh at the look Sirius gave him from his bed. He had a slightly vacant look in his eyes and drool down the left side of his face. Sirius couldn't believe his friends had betrayed him; handed him over to the enemy.<br>"Tahithor" He had meant to say 'traitor' but couldn't exactly move part of his face. Remus just smiled innocently at Padfoot, knowing perfectly what he had said but pretending not to hear him.  
>"Mhmm. Well I guess I'm done here…"<br>"W-what? No, nonono. No. Thish isth your fault! Donth't leave" Sirius looked up at him with him large, pleading puppy eyes and Remus dissolved.  
>"<em>Fine.<em> But only because I feel slightly guilty and I _know_ you've been perfecting that face.  
>"My fash ish alwath perfect." Sirius scowled as Remus smirked at his lisp. "Sh'not funny!"<br>"No, no it's not. I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do."  
>"Kish it better, then."<br>"Kiss _what_ better, Pads."  
>"My fash, obcoursh." Sirius had a look of mischief in his eyes, but Remus obviously missed it because he still seemed extremely confused.<br>"What do you mean, _kiss it better_?" _Now _Remus was just playing dumb, and Sirius was having none of that. He grabbed the werewolf's face and forced it towards his own, which wasn't so difficult, seeing as Remus wasn't even struggling.

Outside the door, James Potter removed his ear from the door, wide eyed and extremely traumatized. Turning to the stunning red-head beside him, he sighed and handed over two large gold coins.  
>"Thank-you" she quipped, pocketing her earnings. "Oh, don't act so sullen, you knew, deep down, that I was right."<br>"I'm not so sure about _that_, but one thing I do know is that I am _never_ taking Padfoot to the dentist again. Now, come help me heal this black eye. " And with that he spun around and headed down the stairs, Lily trailing behind him with a smug grin on her face.


End file.
